No hangover.

I was up early to see the kids off to the airport, so I'm functioning on about five hours of sleep. It's a cool morning, with a lot of early fog. I love fog, but now that I think about it, I don't remember a single instance of summer fog this year. We usually get some socked-in mornings, especially in June. But there's been nothing.

Still, it's here now. It rained the other day, too. Lovely, gentle rain that lasted all day and nicely watered my new plants.

Today, I must rake leaves. Laundry is going and I need to de-guest our impromptu guest room and turn it back into a library. That will be enough on five hours of sleep.

Dinner is leftovers. I already cooked the turkey bones and have lots of broth. But tonight will be straight leftovers of turkey, dressing, potatoes and gravy. Yes, I will throw a vegetable in there.

I've done a little critting and I hope to get some writing in. 

Hope everyone had a good holiday. 

I am simply going in circles. Too much to do - I can't believe how the days fly by! What would I do if I had a job? I haven't been reading any blogs - just my friend's page. I check email, but that's about all I do on the computer. Other than crits. It's the critting that's taking all my time - I'm in over my head. And I'm behind on the crits, too.

No writing. Nada. Not for almost two weeks. Next week, houseguests start to come. Then it's Thanksgiving. Maybe things will calm down then. Rick is slowly becoming more independent and has a lot of his strength back. He's started the Christmas shopping (online) and I've started making the calendars for next year. Okay, that's something else I'm doing on the computer.

I'm still taking books back downstairs to put on the bookshelves, and hopefully to get rid of a bunch of them. I still can't get my car in the garage because I haven't brought all that stuff back into the house. Some of it is too heavy for me.

All of this combines to drive me batty. I'm also trying to find new drapes for the living room. My first attempt failed all around and I have to return everything. I may just give up for now.

I'm not exercising. I'm not writing. I'm not working. I'm too busy. Isn't that just weird?

But I am, right now, going to go downstairs and tear myself up on the treadmill. I'll try for 30 minutes. Then it's back to carting books downstairs.

I simply must post something. Even I feel like I've dropped off the face of the Earth.

Despite my overwhelming busyness, I don't have much to say. Life is a series of short walks, checking blood pressure, dispensing medicine, home nurse visits, and making sure the patient eats. When I have time, I've been catching up on crits, including a full-novel crit I just started over on critters.org. I spent about 30 minutes writing one day. But I can't concentrate - there's always something else that has to be done.

I also have to start putting stuff back in the house, now that our new carpet is in. My grandkids came over yesterday and helped secure a couple of the bookcases to the wall (earthquake country). Then they carried about half the books downstairs, but left them in piles on the living room floor. I want to sort them and make sure they're organized when I put them away. I'd also like to get rid of at least a quarter of them.

I have the same problem with the rest of the stuff in the garage. I don't want to just bring everything back into the house and stash it where it was before. We have too much JUNK. I want to get rid of it. If it's not useful (meaning we USE it) or beautiful, I don't want it in my house. Well, and sentimental, too. If it's sentimental, it should be able to stay. The problem is, when you live with a packrat, everything is sentimental.

So, given my time is limited and I have this quandary going on, it's been real slow moving things back into the house.

Plus, my stepson and family have been visiting - he from Iraq, his wife and daughter from Hawaii. They are staying with his mother, which is good, although they would normally stay here and we wish they could have, this time. But early on, we all came to the conclusion that Rick would just not be up to having guests and an active 2 year old running around. It was the right decision, but disappointing, too.

But Rick is doing so much better. He looks almost like himself again, and a couple of times I've heard him whistling. He still gets tired quickly, and he's trying to get off the pain meds, which means he's sometimes very uncomfortable. I think it will be another week or two before he's truly ready. But he's doing really well.

Oh, and my son and his wife are expecting a baby in early February, and my next-to-youngest daughter and her husband are expecting a baby in June.  Two weeks after my youngest daughter gets married. That is going to be one PREGNANT bridesmaid!

Life is amazing. I'll never catch up.

Yesterday, I managed to actually do a few of the hundred things that have been on my To Do list. This means I did not get much writing done, although the fact that I got some done is reason to be impressed. 'Course, I'm easy.

So I made all the phone calls I needed to, wrote some Thank You cards, put the dog supplies up on Freecycle, called the appliance repair people, etc., ad nauseum.

Are we just unlucky? It took us a year to find someone to finish our kitchen. We waited 3 weeks for the blinds to come in, then the driver drops them out the back of the truck and has to order more - another two weeks before they even come in again, then how long before he comes to install them? We ordered carpet and the color we want is not in stock and we won't get it before the end of September.

None of this is serious stuff, but it's still frustrating. This whole year has been like pulling teeth.

It's hot as hades, but I'm trying to psych myself up for Fall. I love Fall. It's the absolute best time of year and it has Hallowe'en, to boot! But if I don't pay attention, time flies right by me and I'll miss it completely! So I'm occasionally reminding myself to think about the Fall and Hallowe'en decorations in the garage. 
 
They must come down soon. It is already September. It occurs to me, however, that it might be best to leave them tucked away until the new carpet is installed. Which puts us into October. I don't dare forget at that point!

The current WIP short story is coming along. I'm going to try and get a few short stories under my belt. Send them here and there and see what happens. I understand it's helpful to have published stories to add to a query letter when trying to get the first novel published. But that means I have write the durn things.

And they have to be good, oh yes. I haven't forgotten that part.

I just got home. I have 100 e-mails, nearly all as a result of joining the OWW Focus Workshop on Synopsis writing. I am behind.

I am.

Until Thursday, I will be playing catch-up-and-getting-further-behind. It's just a busy, busy week. I figure if I do a little bit every day, eventually life will sit up and Notice. Heh.

But when am I actually going to write?

I wrote a little today, while I was working. Through a series of dunceships, I ended having wait while the wild rice finished cooking. (Why does wild rice not cook sometimes? Does anyone know? 'Cause I sure don't).

Anyway, while I was waiting, I wrote a scene in longhand on the back of the menu. Now I have to type it up. It's a very short scene. But it's more than I got done yesterday.

How do people with Real Jobs and/or kids get their writing done? You people are amazing. Simply amazing.

Have ya voted, yet? It's nice that, finally, there's some hopeful feelings in an election. This is the first time in a looonngg time, that I'm voting for someone, instead of against.

Although to be honest, I've already voted absentee. I'm too impatient to wait. 

John Scalzi has a good introspection on Obama and Hillary. Go check it out.

Busy day for me. Lots of meetings (the next one's at lunch, and I'm hungry!). But I had a good time at the board meeting this morning. It's a dynamic group, everyone with good ideas and lots of enthusiasm. Some of the old timers were concerned that this board had too many newcomers, but ya know? It's good to start over, sometimes. In a way, all I have to do is hold it together. And try to keep up!

Today is also my daughter's birthday. She's 31. And all I can do, is continue to wish for her that she will find her way. Keep trying, Naomi. There's a light somewhere in all that darkness.




 

I second rolanni on her lament for slower weekends. I don't even have a full-time job and the weekends still go by too fast!

I've been keeping up on my morning pages, which means that this morning, I celebrated my first complete week. It's not always easy to get to it, although my general plan for getting it done before I get of bed makes it far more probable I'll do it. A couple of mornings I slept too late and had to write after breakfast. But it still worked out.

I don't always have much to say, but neverthless, I've filled up three pages of rambling, every morning. Hey, I can always whine.

Which I did a lot of this morning, being slightly hungover and really tired. Which brought with it a bout of guilt, making write of possible solutions. So there.

I was hungover because I fixed Taco Salad and Margaritas for the kids last night and we all drank too much. Except, of course, for Jesse, who was driving and is under 21, anyway. She had tea. Thanks for driving, Jess!

Spent a lot of time today doing reviews for the Crit Contest and others over at OWW. Got some writing done in the novel and I may try to do some more. I'm working tomorrow and I never know if I'll be able to get to the writing on those days. Especially if I don't sleep well the night before.

I'm tired. No whining, I promise. Just don't expect much from me.

I don't quite understand why I'm so overwhelmed. Coming off of vacation (during which I did *not* sleep) and I have a million things to get done. Now, mind you, I don't have much of a job. No clients. So it's not like "work" is getting in the way.

I'm just behind. the desk is filling up with crap again and I've started my year as president of the board for my women's group, and I have year-end bookkeeping to do, I haven't written my Thank You Cards, yet, and I'm writing both a novel and short story. And critiquing for OWW.

Two prospective clients have called and I've been arranging to make them actual clients. Scheduled one of them for three sessions. That will probably be all they do - they're the contest winners. I'm meeting the other tomorrow and maybe they'll turn into regular clients. They sound like they want to be, but it's such a subjective thing...

The Park and Recreation department wants me to try more cooking classes. My attitude was so bad last fall over the paper work, I'm astonished they want me back, at all. But, the paper work is all done, so I guess it's not a problem anymore, right?

Next week, I have to do a repeat mammogram and have an ultrasound to "check out" something they found. This has happened before. Last time, it was a cyst and I could feel it - huge, round, and hard. This time, I can't figure out what they're talking about. Oh and they didn't want an ultrsound last time. Which all makes me kinda nervous.

I have been Out of Touch for a few days with sick dogs, grandkids and cooking classes. I still have the sick dog to contend with, but that's all. I haven't had much time to write either, but I got some done today and will probably do more. Hopefully, I'll get a lot written this week - Rick is away on business! I have a few meetings scattered throughout the week, but otherwise I should be glued to the chair.

My grandsons are at the age where they still talk to adults and they're learning things in school that the adults around them sometimes talk about. So they participate in conversations and answer questions with more than two syllables. I'm enjoying it because I know in a couple of years, they'll be at the monosyllabic, "grown-ups are stupid" phase, and we won't hear anything from them until they turn 20 or so. At least, that's how it was with my son!

I nearly chickened out of the cooking class (depression makes me want to do that) but I did it and had a great time. I knew I would - there's just always this panic that sets in whenever I have to do something new. I'd never cooked for the recreation department before, so I was a little intimidated.

But it was marvelous! I love teaching and I love lecturing and demonstrating and giving presentations, so once I got there and got going, I had no problems. And the students were great!

I made a list this morning and it filled up so quickly, I couldn't believe it. I figured a To-Do list would make me get going on the stuff I've been putting off. It's iffy - for instance, posting an entry to this blog was not on the list, so I'm obviously procrastinating.

Still, I've done a few things and that's progress. My mood these days is down and I'm not sleeping. The other night, I dug out my hypnosis tapes and listened to one of them. I did it again last night. I need to keep it up for a while. I imagine hypnosis is like anything else - it needs maintenance.

So back to work. I have revisions to write, reviews to do, and my cooking classes to prepare for. Among other things.

Uninspired or lazy? Don't know, just haven't been posting anything. Not much to say and I don't want to bore people. Or myself. Still, since my last entry was, um.... *runs over to journal to check* about 3 weeks ago, just after we got back from Hawaii... okay, it's time I say something. Say Anything, as movie titles go...

(I liked that movie. Did anybody else like that movie?)

Since Hawaii, our kitchen has been halfway completed. Still need to paint and take care of details. But we have NEW cabinets and a NEW floor, which makes all the difference in the world. I like it.

May and June birthdays are really hard to keep up with. There's a lot of them: 4 in May and 2 in June, along with Mother's Day and Father's Day and graduations (some years), and for the last 3 years, a vacation to Hawaii in May. So we miss the birthdays, pretty much. They never get celebrated quite right, except for my step-son's because he's the one we're in Hawaii to see. We throw my husband's birthday in there, too, since his is 2 days after the kid's. My father-in-law is down south, so we always send him his stuff, but I would like to do more for my husband. It's a miracle if we manage a nice dinner...

The one I feel bad about is my grandson. He turned 11 this year. His birthday is June 8 and we always end up folding his in with my birthday and my husband's birthday. We all manage to get together just once, so it all has to be done at once. Does it hurt the child that he doesn't get his "own" birthday celebration?

You know, we should all have such serious complaints, right?

In other news, my first novel is at a point were I'm almost ready to declare it done. I'm still posting chapters to the online writer's workshop, but those reviews have begun to fall off. These science fiction experts have had lots of good points that my editor (a Jane Austin expert) just did not have. Oh, I'm not disparaging the editor; he's been invaluable. But he doesn't read SF, ya know?

I say first novel because I've actually sort of started on the second. The first one is a time travel story back to the early 20th and is based on some real people who did real things. The second one is future all the way and needs serious world-building. That's what I'm working on. All I've got is a bare-bones sketch of what the story is about. I want to say, "the devil is in the details" but I don't believe in the devil and I think the details will be fascinating, albiet time consuming.

Anybody have a good alternative to the devil thing...?

In still OTHER news... no work. One job tomorrow, with someone whose entire house is FILLED (I swear - I mean FILLED) with STUFF!!! They have two little kids and the house is packed to the rafters with Good God, I Don't Know What, because I couldn't focus enough to resolve what I was seeing. I'll cook for them tomorrow (provided she follows my instructions and cleans the kitchen) but that's it. I'm not so desparate for work that I'm going to subject myself to that kind of thing. Life is too short.

But no other work. I think my husband is truly beginning to stress, although he would probably die before letting me know that. I can't keep doing this to him. I'm going to have to find a Real Job. At least a part-time one. If I can do that, I can devote a couple of days a week to writing and/or cooking. I won't succeed if I don't try. Hey, I gave this business a good shot, I think. It's not failure so much as it's Keep Those Options Open. I'm big on doing that.

Back from Hawaii, tanned and tired. A good combination, yes? We had a rather relaxed visit this time, forcing ourselves ONLY ONCE to get up early and take a tour. We like the hiking tours best, but getting up at 5:30 while on vacation is an alarming prospect. This tour turned out to be mostly driving around, so it wasn't as much exercise as we wanted.

My step-grandaughter - I must tell you this - is simply adorable. The prettiest baby with the cutest smile. The problem with her living in Hawaii is that she has no clue who we are and will have nothing to do with us. Since we were on her turf this time, she was happier than when they visited us in January, but she still wouldn't let us hold her. Darn!

Once back at home, we proceeded to empty our kitchen and prepare for refacing. I've got a variety of salad fixings all prepped and in the frig, with plenty of crackers and breadsticks. This is what we eat all week, on the six inches alloted to each of us on the dining room table. Well and wine, of course.

My daughter graduates on Thursday and we are college-free parents after that. Life enters another Phase.

We have the graduation with dinner afterwards, a party on Saturday and brunch with the kids on Sunday. My kitchen might be done by then and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that. I love to cook for my kids!

Working on procedures, presentations, websites and books. None of it pays anything, you understand. Still, it keeps me occupied. I also need to get out and dig in the compost pile, which should be nice, since we have a bright blue sky and the day is cool, but not cold. No cooking scheduled for this week, which means no money at all. *sigh*

Managed to do the treadmill this morning, although it's getting hard to stay on without my DVD fix to keep the brain occupied. Netflix - where's my Alias disk, already?

Researching for the book. So, how do I deal with my guilt about using a real person (dead one) as one of my main characters, but changing lots of details about his life? Like having him marry my protaganist instead of the woman he actually married? Of course, the whole point is a time travel/alternate history kind of thing and this is a very important part of it. But, I feel bad. I've never been able to break up a couple, no matter how much I liked the guy.

I think I'll make muffins and take them down to the lab sometime this week. I miss my friends. Two meetings tomorrow and a dentist appointment will keep me out of trouble for that day at least. And, I really need to get going on the bookkeeping. The year is not getting younger!

I'm three days into the new year (as are we all) and I'm already behind. End-of-year paperwork is staring at me and I DO NOT want to acknowledge it. Of course, as I ignore it, January receipts are piling up because my "January" folder still has last year's stuff in it...

So, what did I do in 2006? Well -

1. Made a profit. A small one, but hey, the year before I was $10,000 in the hole.
2. Successfully did a stint as a president/board member/raffle chairperson of my business women's group. At least, I think it was successful; most people seemed pleased.
3. Saw a hypnotist about that dang sleep disorder that's been hounding me since 1997. BIG success! I swear people, if you're spending your nights with a racing mind and tossing/turning/staring at the clock all night - go see a hypnotist! You will never regret it!
4. Bought my first book on witchcraft. And, my second. And, third. Time to stop reading and start practicing.
5. Joined the World Pantheist Movement. I don't have time or much inclination to actually join any local groups, but the option is out there.
6. Saw the Christmas Revels in Oakland. I missed it the year before and I do mean, I really missed it! Glad to get back to it. It's a fun show.
7. Re-read Partners in Necessity, then went for all the rest of the Liaden stuff. Not finished, yet, but these are always fun and amusing books. Thanks rolanni and kinzel!
8. Read a lot of other books, but since I didn't keep a list, don't know what they were. Darn.
9. Hired back my housekeeper. Have to do something with that profit in #1.
10. Went to a food seminar hosted by Marilyn Nestle at UC Berkeley. Lots of great speakers - Alice Waters, Michael Pollen, Harold McGee, etc. Great topics and lots of information about the state of our food industry.
11. Voted! Now, if only the Democrats can do better...
12. Did a cooking demo at one of our local farmer's markets. Had a great time with Leslie Stiles, who is a dynamo for local food!
13. Started this blog. Go me.
14. Helped start a local (Bay Area) chapter for the United States Personal Chef Association. Got myself elected treasurer and webmistress (Check it out at www.bayareauspca.com). Go me again.
15. Took a tamale making class with my husband. Lots of fun!
16. Took a cake decorating class. I'd love to practice, but I'd just eat the cakes and well...
17. Gained 8 pounds. That's more weight than I have ever gained in one year. Must get serious about this!
18. Started writing a "story" and researching background for it. Not a lot of progress, yet.

There's more, I'm sure. I really gotta start a book list and lose this weight. That should be enough for this year's resolutions, except I also need to get organized.

That cold that grabbed me Friday night never got a good grip, thank goodness. It's gone already except for a faintly lurking dry throat and sometime headache. Not complaining at all, no sir.

I worked today, so I feel somewhat useful. I'm also working Thursday. Whoo! Two days this week! Enough to pay a bill! 'Course no working next week. Next week is officially vacation. Now, my boss (me) is great about giving me vacation time whenever I want it, she's not so great at providing "paid" vacation time, if you know what I mean.

It froze last night and will be even colder tonight. I finally brought the poor jade plant inside. If I were really smart, I'd figure out what to use to cover some of the other plants outside, but I don't know what to use. Can I just throw a blanket over everything?

Baked a bunch of cookies yesterday and it is my solemn duty to eat them, now. Hey, they're in the house, I'm in the house...

Good question over on academic pagans. Reminds of Asimov's comment about any sufficiently advanced sience looking like magic to the primitives. That was Asimov, wasn't it?

Happy Birthday, Ludwig!

An easy day. A cold grabbed me last night and I'm spending today *doing* something, then resting for 20 minutes, then *doing* something else... Hey it's Saturday, I can if I want to.

Laundry is almost done - last load goes in when next I go downstairs, I'm off to Trader Joe's in a minute. Took a walk and delivered cards to the neighbors, got the evites out to the kids for winter solstice. Rick is wrapping presents. He's MUCH better at it than I am. OUR SHOPPING IS DONE! Dinner will be one of my fabulous, homemade, pre-prepared meals (yes My Clients, I eat that way, too). I think I'll swear of alcohol tonight, although a nice warm brandy might be good, or a hot toddy with whiskey. Something to soothe the throat..., although the tummy is iffy.

I love today's weather. It's COLD and overcast and very wintery. Supposed to rain. Tonight - a fire and a movie, while the elements do their thing outside.

Here I go. No, there! The question is, where am I? (Why will have to wait). Since I'm *not working* this week, I get the chores. I know, I know. It's only fair and I'm not really complaining, because, after all, what else would I be doing? It's just that I'm kinda blank, right now. No motivation, no goal, not even a vague "want to." I can't figure out what to get people for xmas, I don't want to eat anything except sweets (and I'm sick of those), I don't want to deal with traffic and when I do go to a store, I always end up buying something for me. Which I don't need!

I suppose I could use a real vacation (visiting family doesn't count). Failing that, I'd be a lot happier if lots of clients were asking me to work 3 or 4 days a week. At least, I'd feel useful and I could contribute to the budget around here. So, to be useful now, I should go wrap some presents. Oh yeah, and vacuum.